Becoming a Husband: What Will Marriage Be Like for Me?

12/08/2026-945PM HOX, NCD
It has been a long journey for me in my love life. I am not someone who easily lets people into my life, and I believe some of the values I grew up with, together with those I have developed along the way, have shaped me into the person I am in ways I never imagined.
Over the years, my close friends, mentors, and family members have often asked me, “When are you going to find a woman and get married?” They would remind me of the importance of marriage and often refer me to the Scripture: “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.”
At the time, I would smile, listen, and move on. I knew marriage was important, but I was not prepared to simply marry someone because people thought it was time. One thing I stood for is that I knew that I the person I choose to marry would be my own choice. She is the one I will ask her parents myself for their blessing and approval before I date her. And whom I date, I date for marriage! That’s what I choose! That’s what I value, that’s the path I choose for myself.
As the years went by, however, I began asking myself the same question:
When will I settle down, and with whom?
There were many conversations behind the scenes. Friends, colleagues, and mentors would suggest different women to me, hoping that I would consider one of them. I would simply smile and tell them, “I will find one.” This went on for some time.
Then, eventually came the moment! I noticed someone in my church.
At that time, I did not know her very well. She was different from every other girl in the church; an odd one I’d say. Very quiet, did not easily open up, and was always with her parents. It was this curiosity that first made me want to know more about her. I wanted to understand who she was, not simply from what people might say about her, but by taking the time to observe her and get to know her for myself.
I approached a church leader and asked if he could speak with her parents on my behalf and ask for permission for me to get to know and court her. Before I began courting her, I wanted to approach her family properly, especially her parents, and seek their blessing.
One Saturday, I met her parents over lunch. With humility, I asked for their blessing and approval to allow me to date their daughter.
Her father looked at me and said something I have never forgotten:
“Since you had the courage to come in the proper way, see me and ask me for her, why would I say no to you? This shows true commitment to do things proper and your desire to take care of my princess.”
Her father and mother gladly permitted me to court their daughter—their only precious daughter—many years ago.
And the rest, as they say, is history.
Now, as I look towards marriage with that same woman I choose myself, I find myself asking even deeper questions.
What will marriage actually be like for me?
What exactly is marriage? What will I be doing as a husband? What will my role be? Why do I need a woman to become my wife? What does it really mean to become a husband?
I have seen many different forms of relationships and marriages throughout my life. I have seen children born outside marriage. I have seen young women raising children without the fathers present. I have seen husbands leave their wives and wives leave their husbands. I have seen single fathers and single mothers carrying the responsibilities of raising their children alone.
But I have also seen marriages that have endured.
I have seen couples grow stronger through difficult seasons. I have seen them face challenges, disappointments, financial pressures, family responsibilities and other circumstances, yet continue walking together. I have also seen the joy, companionship, friendship, and growth that marriage can bring.
These experiences have taught me that no marriage is perfect.
So I find myself asking another question:
How do I become a good husband to someone’s daughter?
How do I love her properly? How do I become her best friend, her husband, and her partner, and at the same time be that person with whom she can confidently share the rest of her life?
I understand that marriage is more than a wedding ceremony. It is a lifelong commitment and a covenant between two people. It is a decision to walk together through the good seasons and the difficult ones. It means choosing each other not only when things are easy, but also when life becomes difficult.
The thought of that responsibility is both exciting and humbling.
For years, I have watched other people experience marriage from the outside. I have listened to their stories, observed their struggles, and learned from their successes and failures. But eventually, there comes a point when you cannot simply learn marriage by watching other people.
You have to experience it yourself.
And that is where I am now.
I am approaching this next chapter knowing that I do not have all the answers. I do not expect to become a perfect husband, nor do I expect to have a perfect marriage. Instead, I want to enter marriage with a willingness to learn, to grow, to listen, to compromise, to forgive, and to become better.
I know there will be things I need to unlearn and things I need to learn. There will be moments of joy and moments of frustration, moments when we understand each other perfectly and moments when we struggle to understand one another.
But perhaps that is part of what marriage is about.
It is two imperfect people choosing to build a life together, learning from each other over time and growing together through the different seasons of life.
Now, as I look forward to this next chapter, I do so with excitement, humility, and a little uncertainty. I am ready to experience the challenges and joys of marriage with the person I have chosen to share my life with.
I do not know exactly what marriage will look like for me.
But I know that I want to enter it with an open heart, a willing mind, and a commitment to keep learning and growing and be there for my wife.
I am not only preparing to get married. I am preparing to become a man—a husband, a partner, a friend, a father, and, hopefully, the kind of man worthy of the trust placed in me when I was given someone’s precious daughter to love, marry, and spend the rest of my life with.
Above all, it is my prayer that the Lord will guide me throughout this journey with His wisdom, love, and grace.
It is my prayer that the LORD will teach me how to better love my wife unconditionally, just as Christ loves the Church.
It is my prayer that I will strive to be the best husband I can be, the best friend and partner to my wife, and, one day, the best father I can be to our children.
It is my earnest prayer that our marriage will nurture the expression of God’s love, grace, and blessing—not only for the two of us, but also for the people around us and for the society in which we live.
It is my prayer that our marriage will be a testimony to the possibility of a godly marriage. That two people can choose love, faithfulness, forgiveness, trust, humility, patience, and commitment. That a husband and wife can build a home where God is honoured, where children are raised with love and godly values, and where the family becomes a source of strength and blessing to others.
That, to me, is the greater purpose of the marriage I am preparing to enter.
Not simply that I will have a wife.
Not simply that we will have a beautiful wedding
Not simply that we will have children.
But that together, we will leave, cleave, and weave our pathways anew
Where God is going to be honoured as chief guest for the rest of our lives, and when he blesses, the marriage vows are honoured, and a new chapter of life is unfolded.
For it is not good for a man to be alone. I will find a helpmeet for him. That’s his word, that’s his promise, and for he is faithful in his promises.
That’s the foundation on which marriages stand.
Together we will build a home that reflects something greater than ourselves—a home shaped by faith, love, grace, humility, trust, loyalty, commitment, and the presence of God being the centre of it all.
As I step towards becoming a husband, I do not claim to know everything about marriage.
I simply pray that I will remain teachable.
That I will continue to learn.
That I will have the humility to admit when I am wrong
That I will have the courage to love when it is difficult
That I will have the honesty to admit that I do not have all the answers
That I will have the wisdom to lead with compassion.
And that, through all the seasons of our lives, I will continue choosing the woman who once stood quietly in her parents’ home and became the person with whom I now desire to spend the rest of my life.
This is the marriage I pray for.
This is the husband I hope to become.
That is the father I want to be
That is the home I want to build
And this is the journey I am now preparing to begin.
So Help Me God! Amen